Everyone talks about the diagnosis.

Everyone talks about surgery.

Everyone talks about ringing the bell after treatment.

But no one really talks about the anxiety that comes before treatment even begins.

Ever since I found out that chemotherapy is part of my treatment plan, my anxiety has been through the roof. My mind is filled with so many questions. I find myself researching every possible side effect, wondering if I’ll experience them. Wondering what my day-to-day life will look like over the next year of chemotherapy and targeted therapy, and over the next five years of hormone therapy.

Will I still be able to work?

Will I be able to keep up with school?

How will I take care of my home?

Will I still feel like myself?

People see me smiling, laughing, and trying to stay positive, but they have no idea how heavy this journey feels. They don’t see the countless thoughts racing through my mind when I’m alone. They don’t hear the conversations I have with God in the middle of the night.

The truth is…I’m scared.

This isn’t going to be easy.

Some nights I lie awake for hours, unable to sleep because my mind won’t stop thinking about what’s ahead. Eventually, my body simply gives out from exhaustion. That’s not rest—that’s just being too tired to keep my eyes open.

I’ve always been someone who encourages others. I remind people to keep going, to trust God, and to never give up. I still believe every one of those things. But today, I also want to be honest.

Strong people get tired.

Strong people get scared.

Strong people cry.

Strong people have moments when they wonder, “How am I going to make it through this?”

And that’s okay.

My prayer has been simple:

“God, give me the strength for what I cannot see yet.”

I know He didn’t bring me this far to leave me now. I know He will walk with me through every treatment, every appointment, every sleepless night, and every anxious thought.

If you’ve been praying for me, please don’t stop.

If you’ve been checking on me, thank you.

If you’ve wondered how you can help, sometimes the greatest gift is simply reminding me that I don’t have to carry this alone.

I’ll keep smiling because I still have hope.

But I also hope people can see beyond my smile and realize that I need every prayer, every hug, every encouraging text, and every bit of love they can give.

Because even the strongest among us sometimes need someone to help carry the weight.

– Imagine Michelle